Because of the nature of this subject, that this subject is Not openly discussed, and therefore, kids make sure to keep it a secret in order NOT to be ridicule as being some kind of baby from their friends.
So, these kids by simply keeping this secret just reinforce their negative feelings they have of themselves regarding the bedwetting issue.
Now some parents keep this a secrete not only to just protect their kids, but also protect themselves from other condescending adults questioning their parenting skills.
Some children get very emotional when having an accident, especially the older preteens & teens because in their mind eye, they should no longer be still having accidents, which only makes them feel like that they are no better than a toddler.
This misconception that they should no longer have these issues are wrong, for they simply don’t realize that this is just a very normal delay in development in this area!
The reason they are not aware that their 7,500,000 U.S. kids between the ages of 6 to 18yrs is, because the nature of this subject is still closet subject.
However, because this is a closet subject, and it is not discussed openly this information does not get out to the general public and therefore are not made aware how common this is.
Kids and Parents cocoon themselves which only reinforces negative feelings and emotions on the subject. By parents protecting their child by not discussing it reinforces the kids thinking that it needs to be kept a secret as if they are doing something wrong, and should be able to have control like the other kids.
Kids who are incontinent are by all means high maintenance in both in physical & emotional up keep.
Kids who are 24/7 when they get older have a higher feeling of failure in gaining control and especially kids who are between 10 & 14yrs of age that their incontinence is such they need better protection than pull-ups. Kids who only need just pull-ups have a higher self-esteem because they can easily manage for them-selves doing the physical change. However, if it comes to diapers it really requires a great deal more dexterity to successfully change themselves.
For adults who think this is a simple process and forgotten how hard this is. Try writing a letter to someone with your opposite hand. You will see you do not have the dexterity in that hand as the one you are used to writing with.
These kids who are 24/7 usually don't acquire this dexterity until around 12 to 15yrs of age, and even if they can master it at a younger age of 11 to 12, they may have not the maturity to properly change on a timely manner and may skip cleaning themselves correctly and parents often have to take over.
We had once 13yr old in the group who was experiencing issues of having reoccurring rashes and really after confronting them on the issue they confess up that it was not necessary to clean themselves because they are going to put on a try diaper, and it will absorb everything so it not really needed to do more than change a wet diaper.
These older kids (pre-teens or early teenage years) that are 24/7 that need to wear diapers for protection that have not yet gained the dexterity yet to change themselves also feel guilty and feel their parents are trying to baby them, and the act of being changed make them feel that they are no better than a toddler.
Now these older children who have gained the dexterity and now can physically handle change themselves, but lack the maturity to handle the responsibility and therefore, the responsibility has to be taken back by the parents are devastating to these kids, and they feel they are being babied by their parents, but the first and most important priority a parent has for their children is to keep them healthy when they cannot.
These misconceptions that they should be old enough to manage on their own only leads to a great deal of unnecessary emotional stress, because they simply don't realize it is not expected for them to manage yet on their own.
These kids become over sensitive if they are considered or treated in any way a baby and become over sensitive how diapers look on them. They over time often develop this mental distorted image, of how they appear wearing diapers under clothes, and they think everyone cannot help but tell they are wearing diapers, which just add to more emotional stress., and negative feelings about themselves.
There are a lot of emotional packages that develops over the years, and this can carry on to adulthood. So, it was important to enlighten your children and get rid of all the misconceptions, which can be very difficult if their thought process has been negative about this a long time.
Steven F. Trimarco
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