Both parent and child want to get past this the bedwetting stage, and both want to continue to do better. However, a child with this uncontrollable event in their lives gets to discourage, which parents resort to providing rewards to re-motivate them.
Although I agree that rewarding a child for good behavior is an excellent idea for it helps by give recognition and re-enforcement and support of a child. However, rewarding a child for an uncontrollable event does not apply here and may have negative results. (For example, giving a reward to an adult not to snore at night. Now if they have no control over it how is that going to help)
Sometimes a child will at times gets to discourage because they think it will never end or just get tired of dealing with all these everyday issues that go along with it, and have built a defensive mechanism of; I don’t care attitude. This attitude helps a child deal about this daily issue but often appear if the child is lazy and not being diligent in hygiene and not making an effort to do better, which leads parents trying a reward system to get them back on track of trying to do better.
Children realize as they get older that a majority of their friends are not wetting, and it makes them feel so small like a baby because of this issue. Now what really need to be done is first address the child depression and defeatist attitude in dealing with the bedwetting issue.
They need to be re-educated on what is happening to them and for their personal need to wear protection, which makes life better for them just like wearing glasses does for those that need them. So they should not feel any less because for their need to wear protection, and they should look at diapers/pull-ups as just another piece of clothing and make a point that no adult wearing diapers ever think they are a baby just an adult wearing diaper, which is no more or no less underwear just absorbent underwear.
So if your child is showing a lack of motivation, you must deal with the real issue and address their feelings on the issue because simply offering a reward will not work alone. You need to help build their self-esteem by educating them, which result in them developing a can-do attitude and then along with rewards result in a motivated child.
Parents challenge to motivate an incontinent child can be a daunting task if not addressing the real issue of lack of motivation to do better.
Steven F. Trimarco
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There is so much misinformation and misunderstanding on this subject that the parent who never had this issue draws the wrong conclusion based on misinformation. The most common misconception they are just too lazy to get out of bed to go to the restroom, or they are doing it deliberately to get back at them making them do extra wash.